Are you elevating your energy to transform your life?

You already know about the cycle. How we feel determines how we show up and express ourselves in the world. For us foremost, our family and friends and our audience in the context of our personal brand and career.

You know this is not a bed of roses. It’s a given that a few nails pop up occasionally. The 24/7/365 good vibes and feeling good are not real.

We have losses, burnt-outs, doubts, and much more. The s$t hits the fan for hours, weeks, or even years. I roll my eyes at the toxic positivity—everything will be okay. Sure, but in the “bad moments,” those words can be more harmful than positive.

Being in a rut brings discomfort and unsettles our core

Although I genuinely believe in a positive mindset (it’s good for your body, too!), toxic positivity diminishes our emotions and pain, denotes a lack of empathy, and is almost shaming. As if we are so useless that we cannot put ourselves together (no matter the cost) to feel happy. Still with me? Let’s keep going, grab a tea or a latte.

Nonetheless, there are moments we simply are in a rut and don’t want to get out of bed. Cocooning feels like the best option. Sometimes it is the best choice. We needed it, at least for a while. We ask, how did we get here? Everyone’s situation is different. It could be life circumstances, other people putting you down, a heartbreak, a loss, or your own doing. No matter what the root cause is, events can be so overwhelming that our energy is just meh.

As a victim of toxic positivity, I always tried to avoid these yucky feelings. The more I felt broken and bleeding inside, the more I tried to brush the emotions off. Usually, with a to-do list to show (or pretend) others that I was okay—the hustle mode was always my go-to healing practice.

Well, ruts are uncomfortable AF, but it does mean there’s no hope of moving forward, and joy is out of reach. We have a choice and decide what we want. This—the rut, or that—the fun.

Feel the pain to create intentional joy

I learned to sit through the discomfort instead of showing up for others. Feel the sadness and pain in silence. So I could listen. Listen to my body and my soul. Feel my energy. Let them guide me to find my own ways of coping with my shadow and anxiety. So I could finally learn the origin of the pain and bad mojo. I was learning more and more about myself.

Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.—Brené Brown

This can bring self-awareness and self-care—doing more of what makes you feel alive, just for you, because this is nobody else’s business. This can bring self-awareness and self-care. I could not go through without my coaches and mental health practitioners. You’ll reach out too.

Practicing silence, listening, stillness, and slowing down in your life is not avoiding or being perfect. Instead, it is a sensual and sensory experience, noticing cues of your body-mind-soul. And taking tons of daily notes of what makes you feel joyful and alive.

How does your bundle of joy look?

Once you start noticing and doing more of what brings you joy, you create a bucket or a bundle with what gets your energy back. Then, you can fire, hire or retrain (as mentioned in this book) what is not aligned when they knock on your door—it mustn’t be let in—what’s not yours should be kept outside of you.

You can do these daily activities when you’re low on creativity. Bring it back. I discovered that these transform into our daily morning and evening grounding routines that keep our genius uplifted.

Here are a few ideas for you that came up from my own explorations:

– All kinds of music (different styles for different occasions)
– Good night’s sleep
– Journaling (three pages a day to get thoughts out of the way or to create for the sake of creating)
– Moving my body (either dancing, barre, lifting, yoga, or a simple walk)
– Pampering myself with massages, spa days (even if it’s at home)
– Connecting to my two PWD girls
– Reading fiction books
– Getting creative in the kitchen, facing a blank canvas to paint, or drawing a simple flower
– A good movie
– Give
– Make a list of tiny wins and celebrate
– Making commitments to myself, love, and life
– Being okay with low-energy states as it brings self-knowing and empowerment.
– Trusting the process.
– A belly laughs or giggle folder with photos, videos, notes, memories of my son, pets, and other cute things. They make me laugh or melt my heart. This one can be either digital or physical or both.

In your way to mastery

So, you can never go wrong in creating your own bundle of joy. It’s our must-have list to navigate turmoil. Intentionally choosing and getting joy in your life is not out of reach.

In times of strife, we have our imagination, we have our creative impulse.—Patti Smith.

But, it’s not a one-day process, and then stop, wave a magic wand, puff— bad things disappear, and your life is finally “perfect” (which does not exist). It takes work and tons of patience with yourself. However, it is a lifelong investment with a 1000% of return.

By letting light in through our dark cracks, the scars, we learn our “whatever’s” and “Hell Yesss.” We understand the true meaning of self-love and self-care, which are not just social media buzzwords.

Finally, mastering the true art of not giving a f$ck (the term that I love by Mark Manson) creates a life rooted in the beautiful being called you.